- FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE -
Producers of Home and Away today advised that they were “shocked and sickened” to discover that their show had been accused of not accurately reflecting the ethnic makeup of Australia.
“Of course we’re upset” a spokesman for Home and Away said “being in the arts community, we can’t just show Australia as it is…we need to portray an Australia that accurately represents the dreams and yearnings that certain sections of the arts community long for Australia to be. Reality is just not good enough anymore.” With a shrug of the shoulder and a look of contrition he added “I partially blame myself. It was so obvious that we all missed it”.
Asked what measures Home and Away was going to take, the spokesman said “Well of course there’s going to be more Africans on the show. I remember growing up, playing cricket with African kids in the street, how could we have missed that?”
“We’ve also hired a multicultural liaison officer, who has already pointed out the lack of Native Americans in Ramsey Street. Some of the opportunities we’ve missed certainly do not make me proud to be Australian.”
Asked about having more Aboriginals on the show, the spokesman replied “Abba… – sorry?”
Deciding to leave that discussion to another day, the spokesman was then asked about Firass Dirani’s comments (‘‘When you walk down Sydney streets you see so many different cultures and so many different people. Our TVs haven’t reflected that yet’’).
"That's better!" - The New Look Ramsey Street
“This is our crowning achievement, and the main reason why we’ve also decided to rename Ramsey Street to 中国上海百花洲 Street.”
“We all know that when you’re walking down Sydney streets you could be walking down the street of any town or city in Australia…whether it be Brisbane, Wangaratta or Bourke – so why stick to the outdated notion of Ramsey Street, when 中国上海百花洲 Street reflects Australian society much better?”
Was Left decided to interview some of the show’s viewers in South West Sydney to get their reaction. Driving at break neck speed with the doors locked, I pulled up outside a typical suburban house. Stepping over the sandbags to access the front gate, I noticed security cameras following me. A sign on the front of the house read “Bullet Proof Windows – Please ‘Drive By’ Elsewhere”.
Knocking on the front door, the ferocious sound of two dogs barking immediately pierced the air before being quietened by the owner.
Slowly the door – reinforced with 3-inch thick metal – creaked open to reveal an old lady, sitting in a rocking chair with her dogs beside her – and a shotgun resting easily in her hands.
“What do you want?” the old lady screeched.
“Uh…I’m just wondering what you think of Jay Laga’aia’s comments…who said he is being discriminated against because he was born in New Zealand and is of Samoan descent?”
“Jay Laga’aia?” she said. “Tell him to piss off back to New Zealand.”
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